Yeah it be Me

Been a minute since my last post and finally time has allotted me the opportunity to post to my blog. Shortly after returning home from the Thanksgiving festivities I continued to prepare for the Christmas holiday,I was busy trying to find just the right gifts for family and friends and since we are all watching our monies closely with the state of the economy being what it is or isn't means that one must be frugal and save as much as possible so my family friends and I set a spending limit on gifts, we agreed to purchase only the gifts that were one hundred dollars or less, in most cases we only spent fifty or sixty dollars, no I am not cheap! I found nice gifts for the members of my family and for friends. Holiday gifts for less than I have spent most years this year total somewhere in the neighborhood of: six hundred dollars.

I had been ignoring Kewon's calls and then all of a sudden while in bed fondling my own dick, the phone rings and it was him, I immediately took the call and we spoke openly and candidly about our past, present lives and the shower episode. He didn't elaborate to much and neither did I, but we both thought it was good and that there is nothing wrong with a little nook nook here and there so we plan to suck and fuck next weekend, with no strings attached. Yes I can do it and walk away (Yeps)!

The holidays were swiftly approaching and on the night of the 15Th my sister calls me while I am at dinner with an old boy partner, we had ran into each other near my office and he was going on and on about never seeing me and what he had been doing so I bought him a dinner (Chicken/Tacos) his choice. I took the call from my sister Pat and she tells me " her husband had passed away." I could not believe my ears so I spoke with her a few minutes and told her I would call her the moment I got home which was only a short walk to my place from the restaurant. I told Willie what had transpired and he tried to console me, but he was unsure what I was thinking at that time so he just let me talk.

A spoke with my sister and assured her that I would be there, but had to make plans to have my assignment covered and make reservations to fly out; she told me no worries because the body would be flown to Wisconsin after the services in her state. I said okay and awaited the services in Milwaukee, I left the day before the body was to arrive and stayed until after the services. Just a few days til Christmas and I am grief stricken and hadn't finished preparing for the holiday, but with all that had transpired I knew that the holiday would not be the same. Ke came and stayed with me for two days and it was truly nice to have somebody around to laugh and kick it with, we did the damn thing and guess what? I am not feeling like I have in the past oh the sex was good and the head is off the chain, but we are moving on and have excepted the fact that we are friends with benefits. LMAO!

I hate my job, no I hate some of the people I work with, and the sad part about it is that we are all starting show our true colors... The muthafuckas had better step softly because I have had it with them, my boss promotes hatred and tolerates it in the workplace. He is in for a rude awakening.

I am so looking forward to the NewYear Eve Party I will be attending. Now let me start reading gotta catch up on your blogs. Missed you.

Too Proud Family

Well a brotha survived another holiday with the family and I gotta admit as nice as it is to see and be with family the stays are getting shorter and shorter; I can't tolerate the new generation as much as I can the older generation then again that isn't exactly true because some of the older members of the family are just as bad as the younger members. Take my youngest sister she is always asking "why don't you come around more?" How could I with my grueling schedule and the cost of airfare ( not so much the airfare, but paying for the extra luggage hell my shoes alone will cost me a grip they are paced in a bag 13's at least two pair not to mention clothes and the fee associated with the weight of the bags) hell she makes more monies than I do and she has a husband with an income, shyte visit me sometimes. Now my aunt Essie is the real gem, she had taken her medication by the time I arrived on Wednesday evening, but by dinner Thursday afternoon she had not only not taken her medication, but had decided to join the younger members of the family in a game of jello shots, I was through to through in fact because many years ago she was known for being able to drink most men under the table, she was a party girl back in the day. She was handling the drinks and answering trivia questions like nobody's business then it was time to prepare for dinner that is when the shyte hit the fan.

The door bell rings and my little cuzin gets the door and announces that my partner was at the door; nobody really cared who was being announced because ex wives, boyfriends and a host of thugs was in and out and most of us knew none of them, but Essie knew everybody coming and going and even called Kewon over to let him know that she was pleased he could make it, that was a relief she finally realized that Ke was male and not some hoochie. The guest start making their way to various tables and of course we where separated by a number of things i.g. the educated, money/big incomes, thugs and baby mamas/daddies and Essie placed Kewon, his friend, my thugged out cuzin (Baby Boi) that has been in and out of one of those correctional facilities trying to maintain his Baller status; the other end of the table with me were Baby Boi's childhood friend Trey (phine and jet black). Now this wasn't place card setting, but you would have thought it was the way the family had placed us at each table with much thought applied; I guess I did not make enough monies for the money table nor did I make it to the Frat/Sor table. LMAO!

The conversations in the room(s) were colorful and quite interesting. Ke's family was there too and they shared stories and it comes to light that Essie knows the grandma and aunt of Kewon very well someplace in the South. Of course there was card games, dancing and the basement was to many things drunks everywhere and the kitchen was none stop with plates going out and coming in, Essie was on patrol most of the time discarding dishes that people brought over , and telling Ke and I why: she would say "that bitch can't cook and; have you seen her kitchen?" We would toss the food in the trash bin as instructed. Ke and I kept it cordial and friendly most of the night since folks seem to think we are still an item. Good Luck!

Friday morning very early I hear doors slamming and cars starting up various family members were getting up to go shopping on Black Friday. I was in the room with baby Boi and some girl that he fucked all night, I was going to go to a hotel being that there were to many folks in this house, but stayed anyway knowing that i would be leaving early afternoon. I headed for the shower and saw Ke coming out of the girl's room down the hall he and his family shared a room. he asked if I mind if he showers with me being that so many others would need hot water too; I was half sleep and said "yes." I got in the shower he locked the door and came in the shower and before I could ask did he have a good time with my family yesterday he was boobing up and down on my dick and I reciprocated. I immediately returned to the room to get dressed and I hailed a cab and got the hell out of there gave essie an envelope to buy her something nice and I was gone. Ke started calling about an half hour later guess he had discovered that I was not going to be trapped in his web again, caught my flight and went home, if I had driven I would have hung around and something else would have happened. I have not taken his call yet, I forward it to voice mail.

Hope that you guys had a good Thanksgiving, gotta go I need to catch up on my reading of blogs. Holla at ya later.

Short Days and Long Nights

Damn its cold here in Wisconsin, the Thanksgiving Holiday is just a week away and I have not confirmed if I would have dinner with my family or not either way it's cool they will be glad to have me there no confirmation or RSVP necessary however; the problem is I can not imagine being in that house with you know who, it scares me and right about now I am really vulnerable. Yeah he put it down the last time we did the damn thang, and I am in need of that freak shyte he does and I can't take the chance of letting it happen again.

A brotha is having the worst luck at meeting other brothas that can keep my attention or that is attractive to me, this brotha is starting to feel lonely and I know it is simply the change of season with this change my nights have grown longer than my days and that means a brotha spends more time in the condo alone and I am not at all pleased with that, shyte a brotha can only tolerate so much porno, and solo nights. Got hit the bars again can't do this long cold winter alone, maybe I should got out with the brotha that I met a few weeks ago he has been really treating me friendly and he appears to have some of the same interest not that it matters right about now. Okay I will call after the holiday when I return yes chances are I wil do Thanksgiving with family.

Work has turned out to be a real pain in the ass these past few months and I am so pleased that contract renewal takes place next year however; I am not running my Black ass out that door without having lined up another job, it is tough finding suitable employment even with a degree and years of experience nor is a brotha isn't getting any younger.

Jeffrey has been kicked to the curb by his college boyfriend after they hit the mall for pre-season holiday shopping the cute little chocolate dawg has moved on to greener pastures. Jeffrey isn't really taking it hard he relishes the thought of helping a brotha out. LMAO! Now he thinks he is going to hang at my house and have me consuming beer every night of the week, not likely I may be lonely, but not in need of his company that much. Just think this man was in the back of the closet just a few months ago even I had no real clue about his sexual preference.

I have no idea if the ex is actually allowing his country ass kin folks to follow him to my family's Thanksgiving dinner, apparently some of our folks knew each other back in the South. I think he has an aunt that went to college with one of my aunts anyhow, they feel quite comfortable being amongst my family when I am not even that comfortable being around certain family members. Ke does have some phine young cuzins and they call me from time to time to inquire when they can come to visit me, chile pleeze! All they did was call girls and run up on campus chasing females so why in the world do I need them in my house? That family cost me money the last time they were here in Madison for Ke's graduation. Now if his cuzin from SIU comes through that's another situation altogether; the brotha is the cat's meow.

Okay let me get some reading done, I have many blogs to catch up on, I do miss you guys. Have a great Thanksgiving Holiday, holla at ya later.

Just as time knew to move on since the beginning, and the seasons know exactly when to change; we too know exactly when to change and when to move on and it reflected that on Nov 4Th 2008 yes we did.

Been a minute and thought perhaps I should apply an entry to my blog; I have been intending to take a few minutes each day and update or add submissions, but the past few weeks have not been kind to me, I have taken more bullshyte from my boss and his antic are driving this brotha right out the door there is no way will I continue to be subjected to his bullshyte and his hateful and cantankerous attitude, punk bitch fuck around and get knocked the fuck out fuckin wit me unnecessarily. Not going waste time talking about the bitch, I fill you in later as to why I am so angry with him and the three other staff members he's fucking one including a gay dude, no I am not green with envy on the contrary in no way am I attracted to him and he does not meet my criteria for fuck buddy or boyfriend.

I have been hanging out with Jeff and his new boyfriend(s) yes more than one; since this brotha has come out the shed because he has long been out the closet he has started to act eighteen all over again and running to Chicago to party with his young boyfriends whom I keep telling him only want him for their admission into the club, drinks and a ride home in his vehicle. Nothing wrong with that, but damn Jeff take a break. Everybody knows it is not tricking if you got it. You tricking!

We did Chicago together and Milwaukee, I got to admit that I seen some phine arse brothas, damn I do wish for younger days. I was kicking it with a brotha that was visiting from the south (Mississippi) and he was so dark and phine that I wanted to eat that ass right there in the bar. He was friendly, intelligent and sexy. The brotha danced with me and brushed up against me I thought I was going to pass out right there on the dance floor very much like the scene where the old lady in Studio 54 takes her last breathe right there on the dance floor, all I could imagine is my family asking "did he have clean underwear on?" I can always tell if I am truly attracted to a person or if it is just lust by the size of my erection and mental status. (I get manly very rough).

Okay the Thanksgiving invites are out and Aunt Essie has requested that i bring my fiancee to Thanksgiving dinner in Chicago; chile pleeze! She is still under the impression that Ke is a girl even though she talks to him on the phone from time to time, they chit chat and he generally will text me a message stating that she asked about me, I do not respond. He and some of his family have become quite friendly with my family (Old Folk) and will be spending Thanksgiving with Essie and her family, just wait until her medication kicks in and she discovers that Kewon is a male. I am not certain if I will attend or not besides I can not imagine being around Ke for an entire three days and not try to hit that ass. Oh by the way Essie will not be cooking instead the daughters and sons will prepare the meal, shit last time Essie went in that kitchen to cook a holiday meal we ended up getting take-out because she had brunt the entire meal and all that was not burn she had to much salt in it.

Well I suppose I should be heading to the mall being that I have three family members celebrating birthdays this week and next: Lil Stan, Debbie and Rick. each one of them will get a gift card.

Stuck in Traffic Somewhere

Yeah this brotha has been missing in action; it has been so hectic these past few weeks that I have had very little time do anything outside of work however; I have checked out various blogs in the interim, but did not have the opportunity to comment right then so I will be reading and commenting later this evening and tomorrow. Work has been consuming most of my days and evenings trying to meet deadlines that are primarily due by years end which is a sure indication that some of our arses are going to be transferred or downsized either way I am so ready to go, way to many changes and not for the best, I have been doing Upper Management in the absence of that man they assigned as chief of the department while my caseloads go unattended or passed off to people that have no concern about the clients. shit happens I guess.

Okay I have been so horny that I almost gave in to an advance by a brotha that I had words with some years ago and we hadn't really spoke since, but here lately he is trying to get dick and ass; I played with the thought this afternoon since he was holding my hand while talking to me about who knows what because I was entertaining the thought of having sex with his rough ass (semi thug). I immediately called Debbie told her what I was feeling and she hung-up then texted me with the comment "SAB" I had no idea what it meant then again I figured it out (stupid ass bitch). I called her this time she allowed me to explain my feelings and she then explained that I need to beat my dick and get over the ugly bastard, I agreed and maybe later I will do me.

Jeffrey is getting fucked every night by his boy toy, but I see the boy all around town with different men mostly other students, but a couple of times with a known trick or john, but what can I say "I have been foolish too." Jeffrey is taking him to Chicago this weekend to see the movie (Noah's Arc Jumping the Broom) I was invited and declined although I am thinking about calling Jeff and tell him I will go, but no date and no I am not stooping to taking Mister Semi Thug although we might have good sex. I am just glad I did not hook up with Jeff that bastard has a huge sex drive gotta have it everyday sometimes more than once he spent the night one evening we had dinner and drinks after work so he stayed and we slept in the same bed and I saw that monster, all I can say is "good luck!" No sexual contact I have some morals... I think.

I am so excited about the upcoming elections that I may host a gathering at my house so I can watch the poll results with friends and maybe we will be privy to an answer before morning otherwise my guest will have to stay overnight we are hoping history will be made. Holla at ya in a minute. Yes I am voting for Obama.

Where my dawgs at?

First week into Fall and it seems more like mid summer than fall yesterday we experienced temperatures in the high seventies and lower eighties, I am oh so enjoying it there are phine Black brothas running up and down the basketball courts, my favors are the brothas from UW that are outside shirtless working out and football practice not to mention the scooter boyz riding their scooters in loose shorts and sexy all white sneakers. Damn it must be nice to date one of those brothas I think to myself, but immediately dismiss the thought they carry way to much baggage with them besides they tend to stick with their own kind...

Not a great deal happening with me right about now, mostly work and the occasional evening out with Jeffrey, but now that he has interest in one of the college boyz studying at UW I don't see him as much which is cool, being that I refuse to stand by and watch Sugarbaby draw him in make Jeff his Sugardaddy, I keep telling him that the students today are far more clever than when we were in school and yes Jeffrey has a degree from Norfolk State in Elementary Education, he taught school a few years, but couldn't take the low pay and the long hours and dedication to the classroom so he applied for a job here in Madison as Security personnel and makes a damn good living. Since I have no hang-out buddies these days I have taken to entertaining myself and going places alone which isn't much different than any other time, I have made plans to go to Chicago just to get my party on and visit friends, family then maybe visit other family members in St.Louis.

Let me close here until next time it appears that Jeff is sending me an emergency text message we have templates that indicate "dating disaster," "ATM Broke" and " I am growing and can't get up." Dating disaster means just that or the dude was cute at first, but now he's a monster I need a quick get-a-way or escape... Help! ATM Broke the brotha short on cash, should I pay the tab or let his arse wash dishes and just pay for mine? I am growing and can't get up, well lets just say Jeff and I both get erections very fast especially when big asses are involved or the thought of boning the dude next to us, we are both attracted to very much the same type of brothas and I make every attempt not to go cruising with him,

I need no excuses I am what I am

Certainly hope that all is well with you guys, got to admit I have been away from my blog for a minute however; I always find time to check other blogs and it appears a few of my favorites have hit the circuit again and it is really nice to read about the wonderful things that have transpired over the summer and your plans for the upcoming year, it appears we are all on pins and needles about the upcoming election which is just around the corner. Get your Black Arse out and Vote!

The past few weeks have been very busy for me, I have had a full plate however; things are slowing down a tad bit and hopefully I will get the chance to get away with family for a few days, I missed most of the births, deaths and other events that transpired in my family over the past few months and sending flowers won't cut it, my sisters are demanding that I take time and visit with family and get to know the new members in which none of their names can I pronounce or spell and some of them are school age already, the problem is that I gave up on trying to be a part of this family long ago, they are to damn snobbish and never approving of anything I do so I send flowers and cards, gifts at holiday and birthdays might call them, but I make no effort where none has be applied by them. Don't get me wrong I am tight with some of my family and I do love them all they just don't understand me or my lifestyle. To make matters worst Kewon attended the reunion last month and he doesn't even know most of my family, but my cuzin told him he could come with or without me and he went without me which was find I have no problem with that, but what fucked me up was that he told my family that we split up as if we had been married; my nephew told him to shut the fuck up and leave that kinda talk for bars and back alleys. I hear that after several drinks Kewon decided to dance and entertain the crowd (fully clothed) my young cuzins embraced the punk and the old folks are still talking about how Chetquin and Kewon broke up, my aunt keeps asking what kinda name is Kewon for a woman? Essie is old and doesn't always get the complete picture.

Work is okay however; I still do not get along with my immediate boss and I am so looking forward to my contract ending so I can move on. Jeffrey has been a real cool friend he invited me out this past weekend to see a drag show then he wanted to hit the newest bar on King Street and that was not at all what I had bargained for the crowd was all white, I keep telling him Blacks are not welcome in those bars, it is truly uncomfortable for me, although the white men to tend to hit on a brotha, and I do not have a problem with white or any nationality. Jeffrey came by my office brought me lunch which was nice because I had no idea what I was going to eat for lunch or when being that I had work beyond work that had to be completed. We are both working this weekend however, we plan to run over to Milwaukee to do the bars. No we are not into each other we hang out, get crunk and chase men, no we conduct ourselves as gentlemen always. LMAO!

I have not seen Mister Hat Hat the construction worker I guess he is back to driving to work or either working at a site on the other side of town...Damn!

Whats good peps? All is good with me I register no immediate complaints and I am finally getting shyte right for a change. My new mantra is: " My mistakes are my teacher." I have learned the hard way so you can say I have learned a very valuable lesson when it comes to relationships and the affairs of the heart.

Summer is finally coming to an end and the kids are heading for Atlanta for the last big party and clebration of the summer, no I am not attending although it would be nice, but as you know I have much work to catch up on so I will be here working and cleaning the remains of summer out of my house I will start by changing for the swiftly approaching Fall weather, hell it got down to forty degrees a couple of nights ago, it felt good I even pulled out a comforter, but I have gotta admit a warm body next to mine with that breeze coming through would have been a splendid evening and night, but hey I gotta deal with this solo, single loveless life until times get better. I am good with it and almost enjoying single life again.

Nothing much happening with Jeffrey (Mr. Security) he is becoming quite the friend, he keeps me company and brings me my favorite summer treat Mississippi Mud Ice Cream and we have been checking out DL Chronicles (he had never seen the show), so I put in the DVD and we laughed or as another blogger would say : LP (laughed profusely). We both enjoy the scene when Boo gets head in the car and the scene when he fucks his homeboy. We discussed the men that we both suspected to be on the DL here in Madison, the list was long.

Ke called a couple of times blocking his new number because I had the other phone shut the fuck down! He stated that he is preparing for the return of students to the classroom and hopes that his pupils will like him. Chile Pleeze! I am sure he will enjoy his first year teaching and maybe even mature some, but WTF! I do miss him he was great at keeping ole boi company. Moving right along, I have been checking out this brotha that is about thirty something, nice kinda friendly and has a job as a laborer his boots and dirty hands have been making me drool, he has been taking Metro home in the evenings and then sistahgirl picks him up at the East Transfer Point , she was not there day b4 yesterday and I was hoping he would get back on the bus and he did, but wouldn't you know old cock blocking trio of hoochies get on the bus behind him and sit their to small size clothes weraing asses right in front of him and blocking my view, I was going to strike up conversation and inquire as to what happen to his girlfriend that generally picks him up at the transfer point; then if he answered correctly invite him to get off at my place have a beer and I would give him a ride home or he could stay if he lived to far and I would drop him off at work in the morning, but first I would have to have hime disrobe so that I could wash his work clothes being that he works in construction (hard hat and all). No I did not get the hook up, the trio did, took him to get ice cream. Hell if it was ice cream he wanted after work I have some at my house. Damn! I am attracted to the construction worker there is something sexy and always have been about dirty work boots, big hands and hard hats not to mention a nice chocolate ass to go with all that, it is such a turn on for me.

Whats good? Not much happening with me in fact I have been so busy trying to find me that I haven't had much time to blog, and you know I missed you guys although I was reading other blogs, but it appears that many bloggers are on hiatus. I am sadden to hear about all the break-ups and near misses, but summer is like that men lose their muthafuckin minds in the summer that includes me, hell I saw a brotha the other day half nude (Sagger) and he sent this brotha through a thing, then just yesterday the most rugged yet handsome dark skin kat sits next to me on the Metro Bus en route from work, that I couldn't sit still I was moving and adjusting my dick because he had me going to the point that if he had even suggested or even mentioned sex I would have did him on Metro. The damn pretty feet, the strong legs and the shirtless brothas have worn me out this summer, because Madison usually doesn't have that many Black men and phine too running around Madison just doesn't happen, but this summer has be the exception.

I had been in a slump, but I pulled myself out and no I have not had much communication with Ke, and that is cool however; he is invited to my family's gathering in Milwaukee in which I may not be in attendance only because I do not feel like acting like I am doing better when in fact I am just overcoming a stint with depression and all that is associated with the hateful mood of depression, yes I have seen a doctor and the doctor has seen me. I am starting to eat again and I actually talk and laugh again, but there are those days when nothing really matters at all. I left the house tore up one morning and wouldn't you know it I ran right into an ex girlfriend, why is it people never run into you when you are fierce and giving good face? Instead them bitches catch you beat the fuck down like me on Monday a week ago.

My Summer Meltdown

TGIF! Man this has been a wild and crazy week for your boi, thought this week would never end. Pleased that I have to work this weekend, yeah every now and then I am subjected to working a weekend (month end reports). I am doing much better and even spoke with Ke yesterday on the telephone, apparently he is staying with the same friend he dances with..good luck! They are roommates until Ke leaves in a few weeks for his new teaching job, the roommate will be leaving to do graduate work in Chicago.


Woke up yesterday went in to work ran into Mister Security(Jeffrey) he is bitter because I have not called him in the past couple of days, but since I have accepted his friendship and he mine I will call him this evening and let him in on the situation and explain to him why he or anyone else hasn't received a call from me in days with the exception of Debbie, she has called everyday and even left a half dozen messages at work for me, damn that chile keeps me on my toes. I have reason to believe that Jeff is also going to be this kind of friend too, watching my every move, I must admit I need to be looked after from time to time. LMAO!

I have cleaned the condo and instead of just changing the sheets Ke last slept on I threw them out after washing them, then took the bed down and placed it in storage, it is sofa time for me, then there is the sofa bed in the den. I am suppose to be on line right now paying bills and cancelling Ke's cellular service, but I will give him time to pick up his own account because this brotha will not be paying it and that is for sure.

Gentlemen have a great weekend and I will holla at ya later. Thankz for the words of encouragement a brotha is gonna be alright. I will not cry today nor will I tomorrow.

Something in my heart always knew

Thought I might blog today as opposed to sitting in my /office until late into the evening instead of going to the empty condo; yeah ole boy left my black arse, and I have been a hot mess every minute since I discovered that Ke was gone and I can't seem to bring myself out of the slump that I am in, missing work, drinking until I pass out and yesterday I finally decided to leave the house return to work, have a decent meal and drop some clothes off at the dry cleaner being that I have not gone anywhere near housework or laundry, it really isn't that bad being that I am somewhat neat most of the time, but I just can't face the fact the my Boo Boo Kitty has left and my heart aches just the scent of his cologne, the last towel he used in the bathroom the sheets on the bed all still in the same place I refuse to change it, I have not answered the phone with the exception of Debbie's call because the last thing I need is for her to fly here find me unshaven, musty and reeking of beer. Yes I found the shower in the other bathroom and used that shower and had considered retrieving the bar of soap from the other bathroom that Ke last used, but I thought otherwise that meant I would pass his picture on the wall.

Maybe I can convince to time to slow up allowing me time to grow up because there is little or no reason for me to feel so down and out, but love hurts and this isn't the first time; but it makes me a firm believer that what you put out you certainly get back, and this brotha was a heart breaker back in the day and now I am allowing others to break my already damaged heart. On my own once again.

Moans and Groans and no Music

The weekends are coming and going to fast and there was so much I had to squeeze into this past weekend that a brotha is worn out, but it was certainly a memorable and entertaining weekend until I arrived home Sunday night to hear the up and coming stripper in my house moaning and groaning in the den; I immediately dropped my overnight bag and made a mad dash into the den to catch the bitch fucking up in my house although there isn't much I can say or do about who Ke fucks or sucks these days, but I can restrict such activity in this house.

I get to the door and I hear the moans and the groans so I peek in instead of kicking in the door; good thing I did not damage the door or create a scene because Ke was in the room masturbating to some hot black dvd he ordered it was hot I gotta admit and before I knew it I had taken off my clothes and joined in on the solo session I actually enjoyed watching him beat his dick and he was so into me doing the same, but we shot our loads headed for the shower then went to our separate quarters of the condo, he in the den and me bedroom( where i went right to sleep). we showered together and talked about the party I had attended and the Pride Fest in which I was unable to attend due to other commitments, but did drive by to catch a glimpse and it was not at all festive.

I get up this morning and fix a quick breakfast before heading out door only to discover that all of Ke's things are packed and now I am sadder than sad, but why? I knew he would be out soon hell I asked him to leave. I didn't wake him I just looked at the boxes he had packed during the night while I was sleeping, many questions filled my mind; is he leaving today or later in the week? I grab my cell phone wake up my friend Debbie and tell her what I had done the night before and what I discovered this morning; Debbie was half sleep and half intoxicated being that Atlanta parties a lot longer than Madison so she was probably just getting home a hour or two earlier, she said " look chile I have told you the bitch ain't going nowhere anytime soon that means he has to pay rent and bills and he knows as long as he is at your house he can get away without paying bills, by sucking you off and letting you hit that ass now bitch I am going to bed have a great day and work." I was standing in the lobby of my building stunned from those remarks.

I wanted to call Jeff, but why include him in my mess? I will see him sometime today probably about the time I leave for lunch, he manages to have already found us a table or park bench and people the bitches at work are starting to take notice. We talk and he makes me laugh and that makes for good friendship. he kept texting me at the party and then calling me reading folks and dissing folks, we were with differentcliques so we kept our distance for the most part, but I was introduced to his best friend or ole friend.

Man, I gotta get some rest I will log in sometime tomorrow or later in the week however; I have a few blogs I gotta read before calling it a night. hope that you guys had a good weekend and hope that your week in a good one.

Just a little bit of Jazz and Art

Here it is Monday and I gotta admit the weekend went to fast; it was a good weekend. I spent Friday evening with Jeffrey he is really a nice brotha and has a heart of gold. Oh Jeffrey is the brotha I encountered at work (Mister Security Personnel). I had apologized to him a couple of days ago and he said "he totally understood why I acted like a damn fool." I had to laugh because he was spreading the gospel.

We exchanged numbers now keep in mind he already has the private number which I may do away with as soon as of tomorrow, I telephoned him Thursday evening and we talked then texted each other the remainder of the evening, after talking to him I learned a lot about him and I thought I knew pain hell my pain is a mosquito bite compared to his pain. Jeffrey and I have actually crossed paths earlier in life during my bars nights no doubt, yes I used to be a bar fly. This was years ago. He knew me during my carefree days and clubbing in Chicago with my best friend.

Jeffrey never caught my attention before, but now I am disappointed that I had not paid more attention because he is a very nice person and he is handsome in his own way with a nice body, but I am not trying to get with all that right now, I just want to be friends and I am certain that is his motive or intention as well. It would be very nice to have a good male friend right here in town, now there is nothing wrong with my girlfriends, but there are limits as to what you can share with them and tell them although I do have two triple G's (Good Good Girlfriends) that I share almost everything with secrets the whole nine yards, but I do appreciate having that good male friend and I have reason to believe that Jeffrey is going to be my boi (no disrespect George, Greg and Bill) yall my homies, but shit we don't hang like we did in college now that you have lovers and shyte. I know I was absent during my relationships too.

We made plans to meet on the Square on Saturday for the Art fair on the Square then take in some jazz at Memorial Union on Campus. The brotha showed up looking so damn good once again I hit the pavement! I had to gather my composure. I did jeans and a tee while brothaman was in shorts, wifebeater and sandals ( I love feet and he has nice feet). After talking with Jeffrey, I was able to stop entertaining the sexual thoughts and realize I like him, but I would rather have him as a friend. Not going to fuck up this friendship or turn it into a circus.

Gotta go my cellular is chiming and you know who that be... Holla at ya later.

Black Butterfly taking time to take care of me.

I was sitting here in my office for no apparent reason all my work for the day has been done in fact I worked non stop completing as much work as possible being that I am still trying to catch up from work left over prior to me leaving for the 4Th of July I have caught up with most of it a few calls to clients and one conference and the weekend will be upon me again however; a brotha needs some serious sleep or botox possibly both couldn't hurt, just kidding sleep is all a brotha needs right about now, then again botox would be enhancing that and electrolysis. LOL

Okay I am sitting here at my desk and I hear one of my cellular phones ringing and it is the private number (strictly booty calls)and to my dismay the caller is displayed as unknown but I answer anyway and I hear music slowly coming through and it is a song that makes me weak every time I hear the song (Nobody Suppose to be Here) by Deborah Cox. Now who would call me and let this play in my ear? The song ends and I wait for a voice to appear on the other end, but to no avail so I hang up and turn to my computer to check e-mail and just as I thought there would be mail, but what fucked my understanding up is not only does the person have my e-mail address, but private cellular number and the return e-mail bounces back when I try to reply now I am thinking that Ke may be playing games, but hell he doesn't know my other number (yeah I kept it from him, besides our bills and phone carriers are different and I pay the bills online and he never took time to check or least I don't think so, but WTF)?

I sit in my office and try to see if I gave this info to anyone lately and my mind went blank, I have been a good boi lately, so WTF? A hour passes and security announces that he is leaving the building for the evening and that I should use my key card at security points and that the door will automatically lock behind me, if he had been a shade darker and a year younger I would have fucked him right there in my office. Not!

I finally get my things together and head home, what should I get to eat or is that chump cooking tonight I thought? Either way ice cream would be a treat, or any thing cold in this heat yes I said heat Wisconsin gets a couple of months of summer and intense heat. I opt for ice cream cake. I walk towards the market when all of a sudden a hear someone walking at a very fast pace behind me so I start to slow down hoping they would pass me and allow me to enjoy my walk, but no they grab me from behind and cover my eyes the hand smells to good to be robber so I guess it is one of the few playful men I know, but it is not instead I find that it was the security person from work, he wasted no time telling me that he knew more about me than I knew myself and that he "was the answer to my problems." I laid out on the side of the building until I was able to breathe again, but he had shocked the shyte out of this brotha.

We decide to have a drink and talk remind you I am not to be drinking anytime soon so I had just one beer on draft, Mister has a vodka or some clear drink with lime. Neither one of us stops traffic and rest assure we are both to old for kat and mouse games, so he gets to the point and I only have one question: Why? he goes on to tell me that he knows that I have been hurt, I deny it and he says "bullshit I hear you sobbing in your office when you think you are alone." I jump up shout "Good Luck!" I leave and now I feel bad because the brotha was real about his feelings and he actually wants my company. What should I do I did like the way he smells and he does have a nice body a bit thin, but nice and no I am not heavy, but tall and tend to weigh in over 200lbs from time to time I used to have a swimmers body, but that was well lets just say it hasn't resurfaced yet. I gotta call him because I have got to ask how he got my number and e-mail then invite him to the cook-out during Madison Pride next weekend. Can I apologize for my rudness with flowers? Tickets to a Brewers Game? I should have been polite and not rude, but damn allof a sudden shyte is happening and I am not ready.

Vision of Love or Nightmare?

What up my peeps been a minute rest assured I have been busy, and I have missed you all or at least reading your blogs. I will spend sometime this afternoon or early evening catching up on my reading and check out whats happening with you. I will make this brief however; it will give you some insight as to what has transpired since my last entry; well it was the weekend prior and I decided to get away from the condo and him (Ke) just to sort out my thoughts and get in touch with me, because I had lost control and allowed my little head do the thinking instead of the big head.

I departed Madison for a quick trip over to Milwaukee, checked into a moderate hotel unpacked left the room to walk Wisconsin Ave in search of something to eat (no I was looking for food). I decided on a burger and fries might as well eat greasy food being that I would be doing some serious drinking later that evening. I had my dinner walked along the Grand Ave Mall window shopping as if I was really interested in the displays offering the latest in lateness. Keep in mind that I was suppose to be here to read and relax not drink or throw my diet out the window, but shyte happens. I was not suppose to be drinking at all this weekend because you know how I get with a few beers and half naked men walking around me makes me wanna fuck something.

The club scene was it's usual, bars full of men young and old trying to cast shade while dancing to the beat of the drums or what ever music that dj/vj was playing. I enjoy dancing although I am not the young performer I was some years ago, I could even Vogue back in the day and hand it to you on the dance floor in a very masculine way, time brings about change, but the brotha still has skills. Okay I had promised myself that I would clear my head and nut sack of Kewon and how does one clear his mind? Sex with a stranger...Not! Flirt and enjoy the young and old brothas that are doing their best to capture the attention of this brotha. I flirted awhile got a hard on and decided to leave before I get caught up and regret it in the morning so I leave for the hotel while en route to the hotel I meet a very attractive brotha (hustler), but I don't give in I move right along minding my horny business.

I grab a quick bit to eat from the same place I had ate earlier that evening; I paid for my food , tipped the sistha then headed for the hotel which was only a block away. I ate the food I had purchased, checked my voice mail and text messages and there was a very shocking messages from Ke the text message "I love you Boo." I was touched, but thought hell naw this is mass game the brotha knows that when I return I was ending this jacked up relationship. I admit I wanted to call him to say the same and tell him where I was, but no more being soft and polite.

Leaving the hotel the following morning after a long night of thinking I was confident that I could end this and I was certain I knew where I went wrong and how the relationship got out of hand but when I realized that I pushed myself on him and he into the relationship, you can imagine my chagrin, I was so disappointed in my actions it took some corroboration but the evidence was there, "I had thrown myself on the brotha." I must have felt alienated or something and felt the need to be with someone; Ke was really just a friend not a lover, but it was me who took it to a level he wasn't interested in and yes it was like an accident "you can't look at it, but you can't turn away." He went with the flow being sentient to say the least.

I arrived at the condo called out to him, but no answer and I could hear music in the den and I gathered he was in there doing his strip routine to the sound of the Pussycat Dolls, he saw a strip show in Miami and he is now learning to throw his ass and sling his dick (not bad kinda sexy in fact). Okay I open the den door and yes he is in there naked and dancing, but not alone his good friend is in on the strip act too. No I doubt if they are fucking, and now it really makes no difference because I apologized to Kewon and ended the relationship although we are going to try and maintain a friendship, it was my fault that things got off track, he gave me the line about "we would have grown into it!" Chile Pleeze I was in it, you would have grown into it in time. Yes we are no longer a couple and I have given him until the end of summer (August) to vacate the condo shortly thereafter I may relocate out of town. I have come to the conclusion that I have got to change and change at this time in my life will be difficult, but I will change.

Get up and get Out!

The weekend is rapidly approaching and I have yet to let Kewon know that I have decided to move on and yes I do want to maintain a friendship with him, but at the present time it would be advantageous for me to move on and he do the same. We have been talking more and fucking less this week, in fact we finally slept a whole night in the same bed and there was no sex. He has a summer job in retail and he has been busy working and he too does volunteer with a local agency from time to time (yes imagine him as an humanitarian). I strongly believe the reason we have not fucked or sucked something it the past few nights is that I too have been worn out from work, mostly stress (my boss is from hell), and I have been putting in countless hours working with flood victims on line answering questions and referring them to the proper agencies such has FEMA and other agencies.

I get home and read awhile, watch the news grab a snack and hit the shower and very often fall directly to sleep, most times Ke is in bed already. We get up about the same time and have breakfast if I feel like cooking or eating for that matter (lately a brotha has not had an appetite). I am going through so much stress right about now that nothing really matters that is why i am going away this weekend (Milwaukee) rent a hotel room and just read and relax and this will be shortly after I call it off officially with Ke, yes he will remain in the condo unless he decides to move out otherwise the office/den will be his quarters. I am afraid to break it off, but I have got to stand on solid ground no more mind games from him or our mixed emotions. " I would rather be in love than alone."

June is just about gone and I have yet to actually celebrate Gay Pride Month, it has not felt much like a time to celebrate here in Madison, this all stems from some of the events that transpired during the festive Memorial Day Weekend, I was Miami, but a friend called me to let me know that Madison had lost one of the community's activist and volunteer in Mexico; there a group of them in Mexico on vacation and Felicia lost her life at the hands of a Mexican citizen while she was vacationing with friends. the usual parties that generally take place here this time of year has not been the same we are all still mourning the lost of our friend.

I gather I should leave the office and go home a little early and surprise Ke with some of his favorite fast food meal (Me) no I will stop by Buffalo Wings and get him some hot wings and a side salad, he has been good he deserves not to have to cook tonight being it would be his turn to prepare or buy dinner. Tomorrow afternoon I have an appointment to see someone at Group Health and I am requesting counseling.

Have safe and enjoyable weekend, holla at ya later.

My Heart is Damaged

The past few weeks have been very disturbing to say the least and no I am not registering any complaints because I kinda had a feeling that things would happen just has they occurred; if you remember nothing has been the same since Kewon became my friend/lover. The graduation and family gather, Miami fiasco, trouble in the bedroom these are the events that have torn us apart, we are still residing in the same apartment only this time as roommates or seasonal friends. I am in therapy (not clinical), but my own way of dealing with heartache and pain. It is my fault I fell for the brotha when in fact I had warned my heart that I should be careful when dealing with younger men, it isn't fair for a man my age to try and capture my youth through a younger lover when there are plenty of brothas my age (no I am not that old, but certainly to old to be so damn foolish).

I have come to face the reality that I will probably never find a compatible mate and that my friend, I will have to deal with and if it means paying the strippers for service then so be it, been there and done that and have actually had fun times with them outside of the bedroom or dance floor, but I could never date one on a regular I love to hard and I can get very upset when to much attention is given to my partner especially when it isn't me giving the brotha the attention.

Ke and I have talked things out and I have been drunk four out seven times during those conversations and have given him the dick before he can finish the conversation then we are right back where we stared and we both know that we are not to be a couple, but continue to throw dick at each other. I finally sat down yesterday (Father's Day) and talked seriously about what I was feeling and not feeling he too spoke candidly about his feelings, the things he told me cut like a knife and I bleed like a broken heart. He got fucked in Miami!

Hearing him give the details of the things he had done in that short time and how and where it went down fucked my understanding slam up! I should have just kept shit simple, but no I get to damn excited by phine brothas and intelligent brothas. I was so damn mad hearing him share the details and I had promised myself that I would not tell him exactly what I had done that weekend in particular, but he has been texting the negro and the two are on the phone when he and I are sitting on the sofa watching the news or some program, for a while he was on the computer at night chatting or something so I got pissed and gave the damn thing to a friend that had recently had theirs taken. That bastard got up that night and went to Walmart and bought another computer (laptop) then charged it to the house account Mastercard (the account for emergencies when I am not home). My friends are secertly talking about us and rumor has it " I am his Suga Daddy". On the contrary Suga Daddys generally have money and lots of it, I have an income decent but not Suga Daddy money.

I am in my office right now and I guess I should get home and have dinner with knucklehead, yes we try and have dinner together the early part of the week and then go into separate rooms the remainder of the evening unless he wants to play bones or cards. Holla later about my therapy I have given up everything that leads me to sex or poor judgement...Beer and clubs with hot Black men half naked, damn that means back to pleasuring myself. Does anyone know exactly when Kewon is moving out, or why he hasn't moved out yet?

Before you walk out my life

I am slowly putting things into its proper perspectives or at least trying to sort some shyte out. As I stated I arrived home on Wednesday after what turned out to be
a long, but fulfilling holiday weekend. I am still having trouble facing Kewon and he is having the same problem facing me after we performed like such irresponsible men. I told my best friend what happen and he let me have it, he said " Bitch why in the hell did you take that whore to Miami and spend good money on that bitch and her family while they were visiting Madison?" My reply went something like " Love." of course he went on to say " I fell for the brothas good head and good looks and was enjoying his company being that I am always busy and Ke had no problem napping in my office while I work or cuddling up with me while we watch movies He always made time for me even when he was studying for finals."

After thinking back and facing fact, " I was not in love with Ke, but I do care for him and may actually love him". George one of my other good friend gave it to me raw... He told me I was so excited about meeting such a phine young brotha that was not hooked on something or up to no good that I ran with the opportunity to share my life with this man.

I will elaborate on the juicy details and the stunts the boyz were pulling in South Beach. It appears more folk from the South attended the event(s) than that of the North or West Coast now New York and DC was also in the house. I don't feel right talking about my escapes while trying to sort my feeling for Kewon before he leaves for some job offer he has decided to take until something better comes along or he attends graduate school which isn't likely anytime soon. I am on my way home to face him, (I am in my office, yes oon Sunday) he is at the apartment packing. maybe I can find a florist open and grab some flowers for him and invite him to dinner and maybe even invite him back into the bedroom, he is on the sofa (his choice), I told him he could get in the bed since there is room enough for both, but he said " no muthafucka!" I deserved that so I kept my mouth shut, he did come into the bathroom this morning while I was in the shower and just stood there looking at me and then called me a series of names. I jump out and inquire "what did I do?" He is casting blame on me and I know it was he that found interest outside of our thang not me, then again I get carried away around hot black strippers/dancers.

In the name of what?

What up? I finally made it back on Wednesday and not a moment to soon because a brotha is worn the fuck out! Literally! The trip was absolutely wonderful although, it was not what I had expected nor did it go according to our travel itinerary being that we slipt up and went our separate ways on Saturday we both found other folks to hang out with and since we are not actually a couple it made the transition just that much easier although I did feel guilty at times and even a tad bit jealous when I entertained the thought of my Boo Boo Kitty (Kewon) having sex with someone else, then again hell I got my business taken care of more than I care to mention.

Kewon mentioned that he did not want to be bothered with the crowds was all I kept hearing during our flight from Chicago to Miami, then just hours after we arrived and checked into the hotel he was ready to do some damn booze cruise or something and I had no idea what the hell got into him, but instead he hit the bars and hung out with a friend from school that he had no idea that the brotha was in the life. (Good Luck)!

I hung out with three people that I knew from other events and business, we all felt that we were just a little old for the Sizzle crowd and on Sunday we drove to another part of the city to shop and have lunch that is when we all decided that if we hurried we could make it to our friend Larry's bar-b-que the brotha host every Memorial Day and there are always lots of phine men at his parties and cook-outs. We checked out of our hotels or allowed others to stay in the rooms, headed up the highway for Larry's house in Norfolk and the trip would take every bit of fifteen hours and it was about four that afternoon when we started out, we arrived in Norfolk about eight forty five that morning and we could have made better time, but four passengers holding undergrad degrees and a master degree couldn't read the map correctly. LOL. The price of gas was the only thing that we complained about and somebody call Citi and Chase to let them know that this card member will not be paying the entire balance of those accounts, just partial.

I will elaborate later on the activity that transpired during the trip and hopefully transfer photo to my computer here in the very near future. Over all yo boi had a damn good time. I will be catching up on reading and checking out your blogs later, right now a brotha has to complete an assignment that was due on my boss desk two days ago. Holla at ya later have a great weekend.

Loading and Unload in the Yellow Zone Only

Here it is less than twenty fours before we are to depart for our weekend away and Mister still isn't ready to go, he is giving me a very hard time about it, the trip isn't for me it is my gift to him for graduation although I love the beautiful Black men that attend these events, yall know I love the strippers! See I can cut loose because technically Kewon and I are just friends/ fuck buddies I am starting to feel for him more and more maybe that is why I let this brotha do what he wants when it comes to this friendship/relationship.

All I am asking this brotha to do is to log on to the reservation site and make sure we still have our room, I placed the plane tickets on my Visa card weeks ago and he was to make the hotel accomodations he fucked around and let the other hotels book up some even sold out, but if you are willing to risk it a tad bit rooms are available some in safe locations and of course the bigger hotels still have rooms. The airline is charging me a great deal to fly direct and the cancellation policy is from hell. I should have just got him a damn gift card like everybody else it is obvious he doesn't give a shit how I feel and he certainly hasn't been to any of the Gay Black Events before so what is the big deal, if he doesn't like it he can always fly home, he has his ticket, money and travellers cheques I gave that to him last night in case we go our seperate ways once we get there so he should have no worries all bases are covered.

I guess I will pack when I get home and if Ke can get his arse up and stop downloading/uploading music into that ipod for a minute maybe he can pack too, he stayed at work with me most of the day instead of going to the house and getting shit together. He is going to gag at it when he gets up in the morning and I am heading for Chicago to fly out of: Ohare Airport with or without him. Let me go talk to him right quick might be back on line in a few otherwise I will holla when I return, have a safe weekend.

Another Generation

Finally a few minutes to read a few blog entries and enter something into my blog; the past few weeks have been more than I thought I could handle, strange folks in my house utilizing every phone, television, bathroom and crumb of food available to them, yes these were Kewon's kin folks. My house reeks of cigarette smoke and every scent you could think of these folks brought with them and left behind for me to clean up of course Kewon is going to help. The last relative left this morning and she started to stay another day, but we told her we had plans and that my family arrives on Thursday.

We are planning to get away this week and by no means did I intend to leave these people unattended in my apartment for 3 days. They had me buying food when a couple of them had those electronic cards for food purchases, but they ate my steak, burgers and the fast food we order on an almost nightly bases, it was nice to be around his family and for them to be so accepting and understanding they came up for the graduation he is the second to person in his family to get a college degree and they intended to make sure they were in attendance for his graduation, the last person in his family graduated about ten years ago so the new generation now has Kewon.

His cuzins were cute and a bit friendly especially the ones from the South (North Carolina or South Carolina ) they would climb in the bed with me and not only watch tv, but sleep and talk on the phone with their girlfriend while pulling and tugging on their 19 and 20 year old dicks, I ignored them and often left to sleep on the floor with Ke. He was polite and did not sleep in the bedroom with me while family was present we had to sneak and play with each other in the early morning because that was the only time them damn people would be sleep.

Graduation morning and the family from Milwaukee and Chicago arrives, now keep in mind he only had eight tickets and two that his friend was not using so that makes ten not nearly enough for 16 people maybe more I lost count with the brats. I attended with friends on the staff and no ticket was needed I refused to sit with the family they clowned awhile after the ceremony and they saw me cry for the first time when they called Ke's name and I cried again on the way back to the house not because of the joyus event, but they crashed the rent- a -car I rented in my name. More Later, I still can't figure out who is going to pay the car rental company or me for that matter being that forked over my credit card.

I am in good mood today second day in a row which means that the rest of the week will probably be from hell. I strongly believe that the weather has been a very large factor in my attitude and a stress free couple of days at the job didn't hurt none. It has been a long harsh winter. I was up @ 5AM preparing a lite breakfast (now you know I must have been in a good mood) a brotha stays in that bed until 5:45AM most mornings, but today I felt like getting outside and into the warm weather.

The day went well very few errors at work which is a amazing being that the new director (my boss) has created a data bank and spread sheets that only he understands, my desk was clear of all inter-office assignments so I was able to leave work early and meet with friends for a brief meeting detailing volunteering during Pride Week here in Madison (June) Chile Pleeeze the brothas do not attend the one here we head for Milwaukee or Chicago in July for Black Pride. We all agreed to lend our support prior to Pride Fest, so next week I will work the Clnic in the hood, yeah we got a hood and they love it when I come bearing condoms and pamplets.

The Memorial Day Weekend is approaching fast and Kewon hasn't given me an answer as to where he wants to go, if he doesn't want to go good, I am going somewhere my plans are Miami, but I have given him the opportunity to pick our destination for that weekend.

Taking it Easy

Here's hoping that each of you enjoyed your weekend as for me it was a very good weekend stress free and productive. Kewon spent most of the weekend with his friends being that this past weekend is known as "the last big party before entering the real world." Kewon's class graduates in two weeks then it is off to the real world ( careers) for the brats. The University students host the Mifflin Street Party each year during this weekend and I am here to tell you that " I have witness more young college students so wasted by seven in the morning that I felt as if I was intoxicated, but a brotha hadn't had a drink however; this was from the fumes of alcohol that filled the air. The city allows the students to block off most of Mifflin street and do their thing, this year over three hundred students were arrested for various reasons, the city lock up was filled with drunks more than usual. The parties started back in 1969 during protest of students for some reason or other.

My week has started out fairly good no serious drama in the office thus far, but it is early yet. believe it or not Wisconsin is finally having some good weather and I am taken full advantage of it by grilling this evening and might even have a glass of wine tonight. I have no clients to meet with until the latter part of the week and that is all good with me. I should be saving my energy for the Memorial Day Weekend and taking my black arse to the gym for some toning and squats.

Spring Cleaning @ Work

Finally a moment to sit back and blog and yes it has been a long time coming especially after all the Spring cleaning taking place in my workplace; yeah the Big Boys in Virginia sent message to the Big Boys in Teaxas to come up north and clean house. That is exactly what the Big Boys from Texas peformed "Spring Cleaning." Not with the usual cleaning items instead they gave pink slips and offering severance pay to others, it was truly a mess I was in and out of the office with training sessions and flying back and forth to and from Chicago and Detroit that I racked up a few frequent flyer miles just in case I needed them to get away from the Big Boys in the event upon my arrival in Madison or Milwaukee I too may have had to be escorted to the front door (yes I was frighten). So far so good.

I have never felt the need to cry at work, but a few days ago I closed my office door and the tears came, I saw my boss get escorted to the front door, then the operations manager, project specialist and two other people from various departments contracted through the State and Federal Government. All parties fired were Black with the exception of the project manager he has no clue that he is Black because one of his parents is white. Good Luck!

Only one former employee has taken his case to an attorney, the rest have yet to file charges, but the Big Boys got all kinda stuff against the former employees ( some valid and other issues surrounding the firing are sealed (rumor has it monies were misappropriated and, contracts mishandled). I could not believe it when I saw them escort my boss out his office and the building, the man has been a true team player for many a year with this agency. Get this he just purchased a condo here in Madison and luckly for him he was able to arrange something because he was still paying for his place in another State. I assured him that when " God closes a window he opens a door." That is why I am leasing a condo with option to purchase instead buying shit in this town. He was just so sure this would remain his home.

I have been really busy with the move and work (nothing is unpaceked) and I haven't had a home cooked meal in weeks. Finally met a young brotha during finals week (why anyone would anyone want to mess around during finals is beyond my understanding, but I have enjoyed his company enormously and I look forward to spending more time with him after graduation (he is graduating with his B.A.), I may treat him to trip the Memorial Day Weekend, Lawd knows I need the company of a good brotha, I have had enough of creeping with the strippers.

I am pleased to hear that the Bloggers Reunion went well,and that everyone in attendance had a great time. I would have loved to have been there with you guys. I will get to meet some of you this summer at different events. I have enjoyed reading the blogs about the reunion. The picture of the group in attendance was very nice, lots of handsome people.

I gotta close here until next time, I can not find my other shoe and it is time to pack for a business trip tomorrow and I can only find one of my black Salvatore Ferragamo shoes (a brotha want to be prepared to meet with the firing squad). Okay the phone is ringing lawd knows it is just Debbie she has been touching bases all week trying to see if I have moved the brotha in with me, she is a real hoot!

Stemware, Dishes, Copper Pots and Boxes

Been a minute since a brotha last checked in on the blog, but I have been one busy brotha in fact my plate is full right about now, and I am not really complaining just wish that I wasn't doing this alone, hey I have been there before and have had to do it without a significant other, the last time I moved my Boo was right there with me this time I am doing it solo and without the excess bagagge often associated with moving in with a lover...Good Luck!

I found a very nice apartment it is actually a condo, but the developer is having some serious problems selling the units and keeping the bank happy so the new agreement is to rent with option to purchase or sign a lease agreement I have chose the leasing option I have no intentions of buying a place this expensive in Madison, so I will rent it since the opportunity presented itself might as well go for it!

I am really disappointed that I may not be able to attend the Blogger's Reunion, but I am making every effort to attend in fact I am trying to get the boss to allow me to work out of Southeast Region (Washington DC /Virginia)that way I would have the opportunity to visit B-More,currently I am handling the Midwest Region and a change of pace would be good, I have a training session to teach the weekend of the reunion being that this is the only time some employees were willing or able to train on the new system I am obligated to be here since my Regional Director will probably be somewhere playing golf or chasing paper at the casino which means he will not cover for me that weekend. I would really like to be in attendance and just maybe I will be in attendance, if not I will see some of you in Miami or Atlanta during the Memorial Day weekend.

No Snow in the Forecast

Since there is no snow in the forecast this weekend no better time for me to apartment hunt being that it appears that I remain here in Madison for at least another six months to a year being I have accepted the new position at work nevertheless; my lease is up and I am ready for a change.

I am looking forward to moving however; everyone knows that I had my heart set on Atlanta, but after the promotion at work I obligated myself which means I must stay here until I can transfer to another region in the meantime I have the perfect apartment in mind. I will let you know how the search goes this weekend. Now to find a boyfriend, yes I am ready to start dating again.

Permanent Collection

I had mentioned earlier that would share with you my personal review of the play Permanent Collection; well last night a friend and I attended the performance and I must admit it was a "great performance." I enjoyed it immensely, the cast was very good they truly brought the characters to life and Professor Patrick Sims was absolutely outstanding.

The play is about an Art Foundation that has become the bequeathing of it's founder Alfred Morris whom bequeathed the controlling interest to Haywood (a college with about 800 students and no art department). The story unfolds when Sterling North (Patrick Sims) becomes the overseer of the foundation and discovers that there is a clause in the will that does not allow him to make changes he sees as progressive after he discovers that the real collection of fine art is stored in an climate controlled room in the basement, Sterling decides that he wants to give the foundation a glimpse of the 21st century and expose the secrets the foundation has hidden for the past fifty years.

What a way to make a living

Generally as a rule I don't allow much to ruffle my feathers so to speak, but this past week has been nothing to the likes of last week in fact it was just the opposite, now of course I know that with each passing or approaching day I would experience change, but not at the multitude I received this week! Let me touch on this briefly then I will move right alone; as you know I have a new job/position and kinda excited about the change, but the fan fair has faded in that office, after two weeks of grueling and very difficult training task I learn that the person that had been assigned to train me had not actually ever performed the job or worked in the same capacity.

I did everything I had been trained to do and questioned everything I thought to be obsolete or erroneous so that I would make as few or no mistakes as possible, but that was not the case. I sent the month end reports to our office in Dallas, Texas only to find them back on my desk via: DHL it appears that ledgers were off and revenues for various sectors were missing or incorrect. I was livid, because I had spoken with each department personally and reviewed each electronic submission for such departments using the guidelines I was instructed to use; long story short the guidelines had been revised and no one informed my boss or I in fact we have reason to believe it was done intentionally. I spent the entire weekend correcting, updating and revising paperwork.

To make matters worst with all the ripping and running yo boi got caught up with flu bug; man I woke up and could barely move and the pain that shot through my body made me holla! My head was pounding and my chest felt extremely heavy, but I still had an appetite even with a fever, I couldn't understand it and when I finally decided to call the clinic/urgent care they suggested I treat it like the common cold for a day or two if nothing changes for the better go to the emergency room, I started too tell her that the way i felt I would be lucky to survive two days. I found out I had the flu bug and that I also have an indoor and outdoor allergy... Good Luck they just want my insurance to pay for Alavert or something. I am doing fine, but I gotta admit I got scared for a moment and this weather did not help it is almost Spring and we still have snow and cold weather in the forecast.

Hey glad to be back I must say I do enjoy my new position and if all goes well I might just stay. This past weekend has been great and even with all the ripping and running I did when I returned from my business trip(training) I found time to attend various events such has Men Who Cook 14Th Annual Scholarship Fundraiser, The Opening Reception for The Bluest Eye and this week I will be attending the production of: Thomas Gibbon's Permanent Collection, I am especially looking forward to attending this performance being that Professor Patrick Sims will be starring in the role as: Sterling North. Professor Sim teachs about diversity through theatre as well as in the classroom. I will post more about this production in coming weeks.





Another week has come and gone bringing us a week closer to Spring and this brotha is so looking forward to Spring, this Winter has has been brutal here in the Midwest. I actually had the opportunity to get some much needed rest this past weekend with the exception of the one interruption I received from Sam he had the nerve to telephone me Saturday night just out of shade I am sure, he wanted to see if I had a date, and why would this concern him being that we have been through for a minute and I can honestly say that I am over him completely and have been for a minute. He calls as if nothing was wrong and everything right, he was being his usual shady azz calling to disturb my peace of mind and create havoc if I allow him to, but oh no that shit doesn't go over well with this brotha. Enough about Sam. damn every time I mention his name I hear that Amy Winehouse song playing in my head (You know I am No Good).

35,000 Feet in the Air and A Career Move

Been a minute since my last post and I gotta tell you that the sh*t has hit the fan at work, a couple of weeks ago the company that I work for transferred titles actually the company was sold and with all the firing and rehiring the true colors have come out of those people that I thought were tight co-workers...not! Man I received a promotion, but not much more of a salary the only thing that changed in my office was now I am the boss of those people that once considered me their friend and co-worker, that changed very quickly, no I did not change they felt the need to express their disappointment and dismay about my promotion when in fact one or two of the staff members have been there just a tad bit longer than I have so they feel slighted, and I thought the brothas were going to have the problem, they were pleased as far as I can tell however; the young white male and the older white woman threw fissy fits and these were two of by best co-workers until now! Enough!




Well this week I will be training which requires traveling and hopefully there will not be any more damn snow when I return although I will only be four hundred miles away and chances are there will be snow there too. Got catch a flight holla at ya later.

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day to you. I certainly hope that your day and evening are filled with all the special attention and love you deserve. If you are spending this day alone then may I suggest that you rent the dvd "Dirty Laundry" and have yourself some serious laughs and shed a tear or two, or you can call and holla at ya boi. Enjoy.

How Can You Celebrate Black History Month???

Celebrate by getting out there and voting. I was really surprised to see all the events that have taken place here in Madison this week in support of Obama and it is only Tuesday; last night a dance today a rally yesterday another benefit to raise funds. Chelsa was here yesterday and she spoke openly and honestly allowing the students in attendance to ask any questions they wanted and I tell you the young dems asked some serious questions and thought provoking questions.

I survived yet another snow storm this past week we were graced with 13.3 inches of snow. I am not complaining, but I must admit that I can not take another winter like this past winter and the sad part is that it is not over yet, in fact we are under another Winter Weather Advisory today until tomorrow afternoon. Thursday night I had to stay at a hotel because there was no Public Transportation after mid afternoon and my job doesn't end until at least ten in the evenning on various evenings, so my employer suggested that we stay at a nearby hotel. It was interesting to say the least and had the stores and resturants not have closed early we would have had beer and drinks. My co-workers were wondering whom I was going to share a room with being that many of us had friends or family come through or stay. I was not there to entertain, but never the less them brothas were watching me and keeping tabs on my room. I watched television alone then went to sleep, but they insist that I kept company with the young brotha training from Chi Town, no such luck his girlfriend drove through the snow to get that dick.

It is Monday and Mondays are always hectic, this Monday is no expection. Mrs. Clinton's daughter Chelsea is due to arrive here on campus this afternoon to speak on her Mommy's behalf. I am all excited and prepared to hear Barack Obama speak tomorrow at the Kohl Center here in Madison. I guess I should at least venture over to the Memorial Union to hear Chelsea this afternoon...not!