The weekend is rapidly approaching and I have yet to let Kewon know that I have decided to move on and yes I do want to maintain a friendship with him, but at the present time it would be advantageous for me to move on and he do the same. We have been talking more and fucking less this week, in fact we finally slept a whole night in the same bed and there was no sex. He has a summer job in retail and he has been busy working and he too does volunteer with a local agency from time to time (yes imagine him as an humanitarian). I strongly believe the reason we have not fucked or sucked something it the past few nights is that I too have been worn out from work, mostly stress (my boss is from hell), and I have been putting in countless hours working with flood victims on line answering questions and referring them to the proper agencies such has FEMA and other agencies.
I get home and read awhile, watch the news grab a snack and hit the shower and very often fall directly to sleep, most times Ke is in bed already. We get up about the same time and have breakfast if I feel like cooking or eating for that matter (lately a brotha has not had an appetite). I am going through so much stress right about now that nothing really matters that is why i am going away this weekend (Milwaukee) rent a hotel room and just read and relax and this will be shortly after I call it off officially with Ke, yes he will remain in the condo unless he decides to move out otherwise the office/den will be his quarters. I am afraid to break it off, but I have got to stand on solid ground no more mind games from him or our mixed emotions. " I would rather be in love than alone."
June is just about gone and I have yet to actually celebrate Gay Pride Month, it has not felt much like a time to celebrate here in Madison, this all stems from some of the events that transpired during the festive Memorial Day Weekend, I was Miami, but a friend called me to let me know that Madison had lost one of the community's activist and volunteer in Mexico; there a group of them in Mexico on vacation and Felicia lost her life at the hands of a Mexican citizen while she was vacationing with friends. the usual parties that generally take place here this time of year has not been the same we are all still mourning the lost of our friend.
I gather I should leave the office and go home a little early and surprise Ke with some of his favorite fast food meal (Me) no I will stop by Buffalo Wings and get him some hot wings and a side salad, he has been good he deserves not to have to cook tonight being it would be his turn to prepare or buy dinner. Tomorrow afternoon I have an appointment to see someone at Group Health and I am requesting counseling.
Have safe and enjoyable weekend, holla at ya later.
14 comments:
Awwww, Thats sooo nice! You two sound so cute together! I need to go food shopping. You reminded me!
Well, it looks like progress is being made in the right direction. Take it slow and communicate more... keep us updated.
Hold your head up man, keep firm, get away, relax, relate, release...The road might be long, but you'll be better off in the long run! Awesome blog. I meant to post something the other day.
Keep your spirits held high my brother!
Oh Shite. My sympathies and everything my brother, but I had to put on my glasses for this post. If that's a picture of Kewon, i would have figured out a way to live through the misery and keep him. Sometimes being shallow can have some real advantages and I'm starting to feel the loss and i don't even know him.
Chet things will work out man. You must care about him because you are still looking after him and letting him stay in the condo after the two of you break things off. Either way, have fun this weekend man.
WAIT....?!!!. Imean was I the only one that saw dude with the phat ass. I mean dam.
glad yall too coming around
After reading this, i can surely see where you are coming from. Love can be pretty dreary but i think you are doing the right thing. Sometimes, the best way to show love is to just let go. If you hang unto it so much, you might end up destroying you both. Take the break, come back and end it.
That is Ezra a.k.a Buddha from 'I Love New York' in that pic. He is the ruler of the land!
No that is not Kewon and no the brotha in the pic is not the ruler, but he could reign for a minute. Kewon is dark with dreads.
Okay, wow...you've commented on my blog and I've seen you comment on other blogs of the "fam" but I nevah took the time to read yours...ain't that just a fuckin' blip???! Anyway, I'm glad I took the time tonight. Good read. Added a person to the face giving the comments everywhere else. I'm sorry the relationship isn't working out as planned...turns out, when the RIGHT man comes along you'll just know. Enough said. I have a sense that we're both "older" and know better, but you know what??? it doesn't mean we're not entitled to love and be vulnerable. More important, experiencing all there is to see, feel, touch and hear allows us to REALLY live our lives. Soon, we'll be too old to snatch up all the Kewon (sp) in the world! Enjoy...live...don't judge and most important...don't waste valuable time.
I hope things work out for the best. I don't know why people say that cuz I'm not always sure what the best is. Being together or not.
omg! I had to admire the ass for a minute and THEN read the post. I have to agree with curios about the bum! Either way, it's good to see you moving on becasue progression is key!
omg! I had to admire the ass for a minute and THEN read the post. I have to agree with curios about the bum! Either way, it's good to see you moving on becasue progression is key!
WOW... I just found your blog and I am like WOW... this will surely become a daily read!
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