The past few weeks have been very disturbing to say the least and no I am not registering any complaints because I kinda had a feeling that things would happen just has they occurred; if you remember nothing has been the same since Kewon became my friend/lover. The graduation and family gather, Miami fiasco, trouble in the bedroom these are the events that have torn us apart, we are still residing in the same apartment only this time as roommates or seasonal friends. I am in therapy (not clinical), but my own way of dealing with heartache and pain. It is my fault I fell for the brotha when in fact I had warned my heart that I should be careful when dealing with younger men, it isn't fair for a man my age to try and capture my youth through a younger lover when there are plenty of brothas my age (no I am not that old, but certainly to old to be so damn foolish).
I have come to face the reality that I will probably never find a compatible mate and that my friend, I will have to deal with and if it means paying the strippers for service then so be it, been there and done that and have actually had fun times with them outside of the bedroom or dance floor, but I could never date one on a regular I love to hard and I can get very upset when to much attention is given to my partner especially when it isn't me giving the brotha the attention.
Ke and I have talked things out and I have been drunk four out seven times during those conversations and have given him the dick before he can finish the conversation then we are right back where we stared and we both know that we are not to be a couple, but continue to throw dick at each other. I finally sat down yesterday (Father's Day) and talked seriously about what I was feeling and not feeling he too spoke candidly about his feelings, the things he told me cut like a knife and I bleed like a broken heart. He got fucked in Miami!
Hearing him give the details of the things he had done in that short time and how and where it went down fucked my understanding slam up! I should have just kept shit simple, but no I get to damn excited by phine brothas and intelligent brothas. I was so damn mad hearing him share the details and I had promised myself that I would not tell him exactly what I had done that weekend in particular, but he has been texting the negro and the two are on the phone when he and I are sitting on the sofa watching the news or some program, for a while he was on the computer at night chatting or something so I got pissed and gave the damn thing to a friend that had recently had theirs taken. That bastard got up that night and went to Walmart and bought another computer (laptop) then charged it to the house account Mastercard (the account for emergencies when I am not home). My friends are secertly talking about us and rumor has it " I am his Suga Daddy". On the contrary Suga Daddys generally have money and lots of it, I have an income decent but not Suga Daddy money.
I am in my office right now and I guess I should get home and have dinner with knucklehead, yes we try and have dinner together the early part of the week and then go into separate rooms the remainder of the evening unless he wants to play bones or cards. Holla later about my therapy I have given up everything that leads me to sex or poor judgement...Beer and clubs with hot Black men half naked, damn that means back to pleasuring myself. Does anyone know exactly when Kewon is moving out, or why he hasn't moved out yet?
12 comments:
I woulda took that laptop right on back to the store! Who the hell?
**)composing myself(**
Okay! If he is going to be taking advantage if the whole situation, can he at least keep his private life to himself? My brother told me on Sunday, he doesn't care if his wife cheats, just don't give him anything and don't get pregnant! I was like WHAT! lol but damn ya shorty has a malfunction. Is he indeed moving out?
His ass is moving out, when you tell his raggedy ass, to move out. All I know is, you better keep that new laptop, when he leaves. He graduated from college, is he getting a J.O.B. or what.
You need to give him piece of his own medicine. I say bring one of your hot little stripper friends home one night, and take him right on back to your bedroom. Make sure your stripper friend spends most of the night, and walks around the apartment naked, like when he gets a drink of water, or goes to the bathroom, or something. Since freeloading Kewon is sleeping on the sofa, there should be no problems.
If you don't want to be his Sugar Daddy anymore, then take back the purse strings. No emergency mastercards, no nothing. Tell his tired ass to go to the library or Kinkos to get online to talk to his screw buddy. Be strong, you are in control of this not him. He ain't got a pot to piss in nor a window to throw it out of. Remember that!
Fuzzy you are so right , I should have taken it back to the store and en route to the store dropped his behind off at his old apartment although his former roommates have moved. I can almost feel where your brother is coming from about in reference to letting his wife have some freedom just as long as she keeps it out in the streets and not at home, and bring nothing in the form of a STD home. I am liberal to say the least.
YBandontheDownlow; Man you got a good idea, I might just invite a stripper over and you know they love to remove their clothing, Kewon would loose his mind! He knows that I am going to let him go and not be bothered with the drama he brings into this relationship/friendship. Do I have to give him a two week notice before I fire his azz?
Well, I think Judge Mathis would say as long as he wasn't helping pay rent, and there was no renters agreement, between you two, then you can kick his raggedy ass out anytime, but maybe a week or so notice wouldn't be so bad, as long as you stuck to the timeline, with no guilt!
I have been away from you too long. I am sorry to hear such a development. Is it really over? Or is Kewon's presence in your home a way of him (and you) maintaining his presence in your life? And is that a bad thing? Can the relationship be saved? Is it worth being saved? Regardless of any of the answers to the aforementioned, don't devalue the experience you shared. While you may have felt that you acted against your better judgement, the end result is an experience and some lessons to carry with you from this relationship forward. And just because he is doing you wrong, does not mean you should return his actions. Two wrongs do not make it right.
YBandDownlow; man you got a brotha in his office laughing his ass off about the court show and how to handle my situation, you right there is no written agreement and I think one week is sufficent enough time. Thankz for the demo.
CoreyKeith, been a long time my brotha and reading your comment was right on time. Man, dude has me going in circles... I stay late in the office just to avoid going home and when I get there we fight then fuck; I am losing control. I think you are right I enjoy having him around or at least his presence. I plan to cease all activity by month's end and just chill for a minute. Good hearing from you KC.
Drama, drama, drama. If they had scripts this good on One Life to Live I might watch it. I still don't think that you've admitted to yourself what you want.
Are you lovers? If you are then you should be in the same bed together talking, forgiving, fighting and not just fucking but working things out.
Are you friends with benefits? Then one of the benefits should be that after the nasty is done you both should go your separate ways until the next time. No ties just dick and ass and a little bit of conversation.
Are you just friends that happened to make the mistake of "throwing dick" at each other? Then you both should recognize what you did and decide on a timetable for when Kewon moves out so you can both continue your lives on your own terms.
Are you roommates? Then you both need to determine each ones responsibilities and each ones space so that there is no unecessary conflict and agree to stick with them.
I don't agree with some of the others about getting a stripper or anyone else to walk through the apartment naked, swinging dick or flapping ass cheeks just to make Ke jealous. That's just being hurtful for no reason and you don't need that on your mind right now. All you going end up doing is starting another fight without getting anywhere. But if you do, I want to see pictures.
Oh wow. Yeah you are a Suga Daddy, come sit up on your lap. You are definitely in too deep for this one. The only solution is to go your seperate ways. A roommate is someone who splits the bills. You have a pet. I hope he at least keeps the place clean and cooks.
Nah don't play games, Ke might ask to be in on the action then your feelings will definitely get hurt. But I'm still pissed about the computer he bought with your money. Ooh wee!! Hell would be the vacation spot and we would go there.
Chet dam man I feel for you in this post cuz ol dude straight tryna play you dude. Yea like everyone else said about the labtop ....you a nice dude cuz I woulda blasted his ass then beat his ass up side the head with it lol. YoungBlDL--- I definetly agree with you today lol.
Chet I say oneday you should have yall normal routine you two do in the beginning of the week (Dinner etc). Then come friday. "Throw Dick" to that bitch one mo time then fire his bitch ass. don't let him leave shit behind. (I bet he wont see that shit coming) LMAO
I agree, bring the most over stripper home you can find. He will loose it!
you got to be kidding me
If he has received mail at your home for 30 days then you can't just put him out on the street. At least in most states that's the law to curb homelessness.
Dude, I don't know how you got yourself involved in this but I do agree that you need to cut the purse strings. Cancel or take back that credit card and don't support his ass. Eventually you will tell him to go on his merry way...if he doesn't go on his own.
~Damnit!
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