Thought I might blog today as opposed to sitting in my /office until late into the evening instead of going to the empty condo; yeah ole boy left my black arse, and I have been a hot mess every minute since I discovered that Ke was gone and I can't seem to bring myself out of the slump that I am in, missing work, drinking until I pass out and yesterday I finally decided to leave the house return to work, have a decent meal and drop some clothes off at the dry cleaner being that I have not gone anywhere near housework or laundry, it really isn't that bad being that I am somewhat neat most of the time, but I just can't face the fact the my Boo Boo Kitty has left and my heart aches just the scent of his cologne, the last towel he used in the bathroom the sheets on the bed all still in the same place I refuse to change it, I have not answered the phone with the exception of Debbie's call because the last thing I need is for her to fly here find me unshaven, musty and reeking of beer. Yes I found the shower in the other bathroom and used that shower and had considered retrieving the bar of soap from the other bathroom that Ke last used, but I thought otherwise that meant I would pass his picture on the wall.
Maybe I can convince to time to slow up allowing me time to grow up because there is little or no reason for me to feel so down and out, but love hurts and this isn't the first time; but it makes me a firm believer that what you put out you certainly get back, and this brotha was a heart breaker back in the day and now I am allowing others to break my already damaged heart. On my own once again.
8 comments:
Oh daddy, I know, I know how your heartaches... There is no consolation for what you are feeling. As you know time will heal all wounds, but time means nothing at this point. I am sure you just want the ache of absence to subside.
Blog it out... music helps... prayer eases the mind... and again, time will heal.
If you need to retreat into your personal solitude do that. Just don't go so deep that you forget that there is someone else out there waiting for you to get over this and be a better man. None of your actions from the point that he left are foolish as some might think. It's just what you need to do for you.
Dam Chet...Man I feel for you rite now man, but dam dont let it get you down to much. Theres to many fish in the sea to let one spoil or a few spoil it for the rest. I know your hurting , but we all know things like this take time to get over or time to suppress the feelings you are having rite now. That dude oneday will realize that he had it good with you and like always...they always come running back. I bet he probaly found hisself a new dude to prey on their emotions and money and lay up in they dam house. He sounded like a handful when you first started telln us about him. Feel better man...have a drink for me too pimpn.
X
Don't tell me I just read a line from Stephanie Mills there.
I wish I could give some words of encouragement but I think everyone else has already done that. What I will say is, feel it. Feel your pain. Moan, groan, cry, drink, piss do whatever it takes to let you know that this is real. Don't deny yourself your feelings, your truth.
Then, once you realize where you are and who you are, you'll make a decision to stay there or climb out of the pit that you are in because you'll know that life can be so much better for you.
Corey Keith: You are absolutely right there is no consolation for what I am feeling; I sure this too shall pass, but right now I hurt. Thanks for the kind and meaningful words, thanks Lil Brotha.
D:Thanks man, I know deepp in my heart that I will be a better man after all this is behind me. Appreciate your insight and words of encouragement, thank you.
X: Man this shyte hurts, but I know that I will get over dude in due time, but right now I have some soul searching to do, and hopefully I can find it in my heart to actually forgive the chump. Thankz man for helping me to clear my mind.
Curious: Man what you know about Stephanie Mills? Yes I was listening to her among many other ole favorites and you could tell that a brotha was tipsy while trying to scribe, but it was what I was feeling and Stephanie, Patti and a few others help me overcome the bad and inspire the good. Thankz Curious, I will do all that you said, but mayby not in that exact order. LOL Thank you my brotha.
Wow, you just took me back to that place. I definitely know how you're feeling. That heavy pit in your stomach is the worst. Shake it off, put your "freak-um dress" on, and go out. A little male interaction should do you good. Just know that we are rooting for you.
Wow. Chet, you will bounce back from this. I know you are hurting right now and karma has nothing to do with this. You have been good and understanding to him. Better than I would have in the situation. So don't beat yourself up. Another man will come along but right now you need to be the man for yourself. It will take time but know it won't last forever. We are here to hear you out man. Vent!! Get it out of your system, just don't let it beat you up man. You've come too far to be destroyed by a man who is probably not feeling the way you are right now.
ilUh Damn..i thought you didn't even love him, but this is sad. I thought you was doing good, without him, but this is just bad...I guess you had it bad,I guess this is what Usher was talking about.
Now I understand you are heartbroken about this, but remember you broke up with him, right?
You will get through this, it will take time, but in the mean time, nigga you need to wash your damn sheets, there is no excuse for that crap! Yeah he gave you soem good dick, move on and wash your sheets!
Next you need to put in a box anything and everything that reminds you of ole boy and duck tape that box of stuff and not think abot it it for quite some time, until you get some new heart or soem new booty!
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