For the past few days I have been suffering with what I consider a mild case of depression. I have so much on my plate right now; my contract expired July 1, 2010 and it doesn't appear that I will be part of the 2010-2011 budget, my position amongst others phased out. I was expecting that, but the idea of taking another job that I'm less than enthusiastic about or relocating makes me worry. On the other hand I still have much to be happy about.
I did enjoy a good 4th of July weekend, a friend came in from Chicago and we had a good time, bar hopping and visiting with friends. It is really nice to be around real friends and not the brothas here in this town that I thought were friends. I'm pleased that summer school is out in a few weeks.
Speaking of my depression, I have spoken with someone in reference to it, and she indicated that "I'm not suffering from depression but anxiety." She said "With all that has transpired in the past few months you feel at a lost." I asked her what she meant in reference to a lost. She went on to explain that job, the lost of what I thought was a friend ended up being a foe and anticipating change were the reasons for my anxiety. Good thing I only had to pay a co-pay, can't understand why she gets paid to mis diagnose. I was depressed and was prepared to face it without shame. No medication just therapy in which; I'm seeking from the same therapist the school uses for staff.
Feeling much better this weekend, and I'm pleased that the low feelings only lasted a few days, now I can move on with my life. I'm happy to have had such a supportive group of friends that were just a phone call away. Happy to be attending the Art Fair this weekend and might even do some shopping.
6 comments:
One step at a time and walk out of it... Hugs!
Glad you're feeling better. I know you will continue to feel at peace with yourself and life. Just picture it.
I've been where you've been, my brotha. Sometimes depression is actually a state of decompression from a swirl of trouble or a series of events in our lives. Sometimes, it's the body's/brain's way of saying ENOUGH ALREADY! And that's only a signal that it's time for a change for the better. Time for a different way of dealing with stress or of seeing the issues we may be facing. We're all challeneged by something, and we will be, until we look it in the eye and figure out ways around it.
Sometimes a breakdown is, in actuality, a BREAKTHROUGH.
(ponder) and be well.
One.
Such is life...glad the bad feelings are over though
Not the company doctor? No! Those are the ones you need to stay away from. Anyway as with all things and as the Good Book says I think, "This too will pass." And at least for now, it seems to have.
Baby steps...I know it hard to do since you are a man but...
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