Pride 2010

I'm home after two weeks in the Dirty South, yes your boi did the South. Spent only one day at Sizzle (The Booze Cruise) on the Friday prior to Memorial Day, interesting to say the least, but such a young crowd, I was truly out of place. Then it was on to Ark, Tenn and Missouri. Debbie is upset I didn't stop in Atlanta, but as I explained to her "I was just out and about, no destination in mind." I just needed to get away for a minute.

It's June so you know what that means... Pride Month. Every year I say that I'm going to celebrate my pride, but usually end up questioning what gay pride is all about, really. Pride should reflect more than just a few parties, half naked men, and a host of one night stands; now don't get me wrong those things are important too, but one should really reflect on the struggle we've had to face in hopes of seeking equality and respect.

Not exactly sure what events I will attend if any. Tonight in Milwaukee the party features Patti Labelle, as much as I would have like to have attended and spend some time with Tony, I decided to stay home and chill. Next month Chicago will kick off Black Gay Pride during the 4Th of July weekend. More than likely I will attend that event unless of course I head to Houston for the festivities.

Tell me what does Pride mean to you, and how will you be celebrating your pride?

Enjoy your Holiday Weekend

Greetings,

Here's hoping that each of you have a safe and enjoyable Memorial Day Weekend. I will post pictures from my trip when I return. I will be reading your blogs from time to time while on vacation.

It's Finals

The past week and a half I have been suffering from headaches which I'm sure is associated with stress. I never really realized how stressed out I've been lately, but with final exams, absence of good local gay friends, planning my summer and anticipating spending the summer alone has me stressed out. Actually I know the stress is primarily from long hours of studying and worry. I saw the eye doctor last week and ole boi will be wearing glasses soon, and I'm not looking forward to glasses, but I understand that I need them, I've worn them once before after straining my eyes, but thought I wouldn't need them again, oh well. The headaches were also associated with the need of glasses, the old man is vain. Maybe I'll do contacts in the near future.

Here it is May and I have yet to decide what to do for the Memorial Day weekend, I was thinking of Washington, DC or Chicago, but after thinking about it, I've decided not to do Washington, DC, but I may venture to Chicago. My family wants to get together, not sure if I'll visit with them being that I will see them at my niece's wedding later in the summer. This is when a lover or good friend would come into play, it would be nice to travel with a lover or good gay friend. George can't travel right now being that he just returned from a cruise. No I will not call Kewon, besides he's preparing for his next journey. Oh well maybe I'll meet somebody along the way.

When friends become foes

Whats good? I'm not really feeling so good about myself or my actions right about now. This week has turned out to be a good and bad week and it is only Wednesday. I mentioned to you guys a few weeks back that I had to make a harsh decision and alleviate some friendships, well as you know I did just that, and for good cause. I would like to believe that it was best for all parties involved, but turns out that I really hurt and disappointed one of the brothas (Michael), see Michael and I were kinda close, but I didn't tell him to much because of his big mouth (he will tell it all in the name of love). I received two very disturbing emails from him this week, in one email he assured me that "he wish he never encountered me." The brotha is slandering me all over town. Oh well!

Long story short, I learned today that not only is he a recovering alcoholic, drug user and sex addict, but also his health has been compromised as a result, that would explain the haggard look and mental issues. Don't get me wrong the brotha is in school, working and doing good things in the community. I've had the opportunity to work with him on various projects, but a month ago he snapped at me for the third time and that was it, I don't tolerate bullshit from just anybody. We got along famously for a while, but I noticed how strange he was acting and always telling me something about one person or another. Now I find out that he is sick. I feel bad because I should have been nicer and maybe tried to be his friend, but he is so shady and not trust worthy I couldn't continue socializing with him. Now I feel sad because I may have ended the friendship without enough thought and soon he could be gone.

On a good note, I'm looking forward to doing some good works this summer even if I'm not chosen to go to Haiti with the group from Wisconsin. School ends next month and I will have the whole summer out! Not all that great, because I will still need to take on part time work. I've also got my eye on a real cutie!

I just don't know

Here it is April already, Spring Break has come and gone and just today we had snow in Wisconsin and tomorrow we will be in the sixties. One would think that by now I would be used to the weather here in Wisconsin, but no I'm not. I have decided that upon graduation with another degree in hand I'm leaving. I'm at wits end with this town, really I think that it's because I haven't been able to secure the job I desire, good local friends ( I do have one good female friend), suitable housing and of course a beau. Don't get me wrong Milwaukee and Madison have ample opportunities for some people, but this brotha hasn't been all that lucky. I just miss the big city something awful.

Kewon has been offered a job out west (California) and I wish him the best, he really was hoping to go to Haiti for a few months to help out, but after school lets out for the summer he will head west to look for housing and maybe spend a month in Haiti. I have yet to get on board to volunteer for a project there, some of the educators and medical staff went down a few weeks ago, I had not been cleared as of yet, besides I have no idea where my damn passport is at, I have reason to believe it is in Kewon's personal possessions and has been in there since we split last year. No problem I will get another passport or retrieve the one at his apartment. Oh well.

The one morning that I get to sleep in late, my young neighbor and gurlfriend decides to wake me up fighting. I was able to go back to sleep a few minutes later then the brotha on the other side of my bedroom decides to stay home and entertain guest early in the morning; I generally don't complain, but as of late the brotha on the other side of my bedroom is getting on my reserved nerve. Damn high rise living and the thin walls. Tonight I'm going to play House Music then some Cher; I bet he won't appreciate that and the gurlfriend will scream because she will then suspect that I'm gay and she can't tolerate Black gay men. Where is my copy of" Carl Bean's I'm gay? Found it! They are going to have to call security on me tonight, hope the Black security guard is working tonight, he always enjoys Hennesey and Newports and I have some in my kitchen and I'll make sure he comes in and have a glass. I will make sure that the Outhere Brothers song is playing when he comes in, for those of you that are to young to know the Outhere Brother's song it is titled (I Wanna Fuck you in the Ass).

I suppose I really should be doing something constructive like studying or grading papers instead of getting back at my neighbor for his flagrant disregard for me this morning. has anyone gone to see Tyler Perry's newest movie yet? I was thinking of treating myself to a movie this weekend and I thought perhaps Tp's latest movie.

Spring Cleaning

Spring has finally sprung and now is the perfect opportunity for me to spring clean. For the past couple of years I have held on to a some people and relationships that I should have long cleaned out of my life. I'm convinced that we sometimes outgrow friendships and it's sad to say I have outgrown a couple of friendships, in recent months these people have disrespected and totally disregarded our friendship. Change doesn't always come easy for me, but it is important that I clean the mental debris out of my life even if it means seeing a therapist to help me work through it, I plan on utilizing my insurance to talk with a therapist a few times in the next few weeks, just to help me work through this without holding grudges. I love my friends, but if they are unwilling or unable to respect me then "Good Bye, Adios, Arrivederci, Sayonara!"


The past couple of weeks have been busy, I made the trip to Milwaukee to talk with Kewon face to face and we are now on the same page, no more sex or moving in with each other, he didn't take it so well, but after dinner and some good conversation along the lakefront we agreed to move on. I was kinda looking forward to spending the Memorial Day weekend with him, but I know that wouldn't be good, so I'll find someone else to spend the Memorial Day weekend.

Part of my spring cleaning means changing my diet, exercising,redecorating my bedroom and other areas of the apartment,finding ways to make me happy and tightening my budget. I guess it all comes down to reinvention of self. Happy Spring!

Whats good? Yes I've been missing in action for a minute simply because not much has been happening in my life and certainly not enough to scribe about. I was kinda dating Tony, but the distance between us started to wear on both of us, all that travelling up and down the highway and not to mention he lives right down the street from the school where Kewon teaches, yes I was spotted by Kewon one Friday afternoon as I was leaving the area. Kewon was heading to the parking lot of the school(across the street) and there I was sitting in my car awaiting the light to change. He noticed it was me and immediately got in the car with me, I drove a few blocks while we talked until I turned around to take him back to the school's parking to retrieve his vehicle. Long story short we ended up at a local hotel; Need I say more?

I feel like I cheated on Tony, but we were only dating with casual sex. Now Kewon is talking about coming back to Madison once the school year ends. I didn't tell him that I was thinking of relocating at the end of the school year too. I think he wants to move back in with me. The boi has to much baggage with him, and I'm no bellhop.